Dear Fellow Traveler
by The-Missing-Paige
Summary: Ed is living a mostly content life with his wife, Winry. But something in his soul and someone in his past keep him from falling entirely into the sublime, simple life Risembool has to offer. Post-Brotherhood. Songfic for "Dear Fellow Traveler" by Sea Wolf.


_Dear fellow traveler_

_Under the moon_

_I saw you standing in the shadows and your eyes were blue_

_You put your hand out_

_Opened the door_

_You said come with me boy, I want to show you something more_

* * *

Despite the lamps in the Rockbell house, the night was still dark. Or maybe that was just Edward. The space where his arm and leg had been throbbed with every heartbeat, shooting pains down limbs he no longer had. Still, he refused to allow Granny to give him any medication. This was his punishment, and he would bear it without aid.

Everything seemed to be moving slowly, like the whole world was drenched in murky water. As though from far away, Ed heard a knock at the front door. Who could possibly be coming to call at this hour? Granny seemed to feel the same, as she grumbled the whole way out of the room. Edward couldn't even be bothered to look, his gaze fixed on the full moon outside the window. Thank goodness the view didn't contain that damned house…

Suddenly, a figure obstructed his view. With immense effort, Ed focused on the newcomer. Objectively handsome, the man before him was clearly from the military; even under his dark coat, the blue uniform was visible. His hair was even blacker than the night, and his eyes shone despite him speaking of the horrific thing he'd found when he came to call upon Edward and Alphonse.

The more he said, the more Ed paid attention, waking from his conscious slumber. And finally, when he'd finished, the man—Edward hadn't caught his name—stretched out a hand. His palm was soft, offering up a new path.

Without hesitation, Ed took it.

* * *

Edward blinked into the dimly lit room, confused for a moment. Dawning sunlight streamed in through a gap in the curtains, and a few seconds later he came to himself. It had just been a dream—well, not just. A memory as well.

Restless but not quite ready to begin his day, Ed rolled from his back onto his right side, allowing his arm to drape over the woman beside him. He'd been recalling that moment more and more often, lately. Perhaps it was the fact of him coming back and settling down in Risembool, down the road from the place where Roy had first come calling…

Shaking his head to dispel the thought, Edward sighed. The motion (or maybe the slight sound) disturbed his sleeping wife, and she adjusted her position slightly. Ed held his breath until Winry had settled once more; he didn't wish to wake her.

Why did he have to be so stuck in the past? Ever since coming back to his hometown, Edward had known he possessed nothing but a bright, simple future. A stark contrast to his confusing, complicated, frightening adolescence. And yet he couldn't seem to focus on what he had.

Fully aware that he would get no more sleep, Ed carefully disentangled himself from his wife and the blankets they shared and crept out of the room. From there he went about his daily business, allowing the mundanity of sweeping and washing and repairing to cloud his mind. Winry woke not long after him, greeting him and the day with a smile and a kiss. Bless her.

Upon completion of his daily chores, Edward found himself at noontime with nothing else he had to do. Winry had her automail to tinker with, and customers to attend to. That was what she'd been born to do, a craft she'd honed her entire life. Ed, however, had focused his young energies on two things: alchemy, and combat. Without the ability to perform alchemy any longer, the only talent he had cultivated was his fighting capabilities. Sure, they had given him an overall strength of body, and he frequently did odd construction and repair jobs around the town. But he found he no longer had a passion and a purpose.

He'd chased that for a long time, Edward had. Traveling all over the country and then some, looking for a way to restore his lost alchemical abilities. After some years, it had become clear that such a solution either didn't exist or was too evasive for Ed to find, and he'd given up with what he considered good grace. Now, with Alphonse married as well and living in Xing, all Edward had was Winry.

And his memories.

Looking to chase away the thoughts, Ed walked to the nearby market and bought some fresh apples for his wife. It was a gift, and also a request; she made some of the most delicious apple pie Edward had ever eaten. The small errand only took up an hour of his time, however, and upon delivering the fruits back home he once again had nothing with which to occupy himself.

Seeking solitude in his slightly broody mood, Edward exiled himself to the roof of his and Winry's house. It was a roof he'd built himself, and oftentimes when the spring air carried scents of far away adventures on its breeze, he would rest there. It was as good a place as any for Ed to sort out his muddied thoughts…

…or to take a nap.

* * *

_You spoke my language _

_And touched my limbs_

_It wasn't difficult _

_to pull me from myself again_

_And in our travels_

_We found our roads_

_You held it like a mirror, showing me the life I chose_

* * *

Limbs tangled together, and it was impossible to tell where one man ended and the other began. Sweat beaded on blushed faces. The air was full of gasps and moans and heavy breathing.

Edward, inexperienced until that day with these sorts of matters, was the most pleasant sort of overwhelmed. Every look, every touch, every new feeling…they all bubbled in him like champagne (not that he would know). And when he gazed into the dark eyes above him, heard his name whispered from those perfect lips, his world exploded and nothing else mattered…

* * *

This time, Ed woke breathless and hot, though the sun and its warmth were disappearing beyond the horizon. From somewhere below him, his wife called out, "Ed! Dinner's ready!"

"I'm coming," he replied automatically, blushing furiously as the double entendre created from his dream. Standing, Edward realized with embarrassment he'd also awoken to the beginnings of an erection. Berating himself, he begged his mind to fill with the unpleasant thought of a naked Pinako. While it wasn't an ideal image, it did the trick, and by the time he'd clambered down from the rooftop to join Winry for supper his body was once more in check.

Dinner was a quiet affair on his part, while his wife chattered onwards about an upcoming trip she was planning to Rush Valley. Though she loved Risembool and would never leave, Winry liked to visit the automail capital often to keep up to date with her practices. Still, she couldn't speak forever, and before long she noticed something was off about Edward.

"Ed, hon, are you alright? You've hardly touched your food…"

It was true. Though she'd made a wonderful pasta dinner, Edward found it impossible to get more than a few bites past his lips. For a split second, he considered telling Winry what was going on. "I didn't sleep well, last night," he admitted. "I've—I've been having weird dreams…"

When he looked up to meet his wife's eyes, they were full of concern. Oh, she was so beautiful. So why was Ed dreaming about his time with Roy? Why couldn't he just let it go? After all, he'd made his choices.

"What about?"

Averting his eyes once more, Edward answered the only partial truth he could muster. "Just…the past, y'know?"

Nodding sagely, Winry reached a hand across their table to rest upon his own. Ed watched their twin wedding bands twinkle in the reflecting light. Guilt twisted in his stomach. Though he could no more control his dreams than control the weather, he still felt unfaithful. Maybe that was because his heart was just as uncertain as his unconscious self. "If there's anything you need to talk about, Ed, I'm here. You know that."

Wishing for all the world that he could be as good a husband as she was a wife, Edward forced a smile back. "Yeah, I know."

* * *

_And now we turn to my beautiful city_

_Black skies changed into blue_

_And my love is so wise and so pretty_

_But tonight I still dream of you_

* * *

Though he could scarcely see her in the night that filled their bedroom, Edward watched Winry as she slept. He himself couldn't catch a wink.

This wasn't the first time thoughts of his old flame (ha!) had encroached on Ed's daily life in the country. It happened all too often, and was only becoming more and more frequent an occurrence.

After that bad business with Father, he'd left the military. After all, without his alchemy, he could hardly hold the title of State Alchemist. On that day, he'd left Roy behind, too.

If he were being honest with himself, Edward had to admit that if he'd been successful in his quest to restore his abilities, he would have reapplied for his position. Without the influence of the evil under Central, the military was moving in good directions. For once, they were actually serving the people of Amestris, and the side of Ed that was filled with a lust for adventure would have come back to be a part of it. Instead, he returned home empty handed. And without his alchemy, Edward had opted to stay away from the military and Roy, and instead come home to Winry. Where he thought he belonged. After all, his failure could be interpreted as a sign that he wasn't meant to continue down that path.

Edward knew that was bullshit.

Did all of that mean, though, that Winry was really second best to him? Even to himself, Ed was loathe to consider such a thing, but he knew he must. After all, he'd already admitted to himself that if he still had his alchemy, he wouldn't be here. Didn't that make her a bit of a consolation prize?

That's not to say Edward didn't love here; he did, as best he could. But deep inside of him another truth was hidden, one that he'd tried to suppress as best he could and which now was breaking free. He loved his escapades more. He loved the military more. He loved traveling more.

And he loved Roy more.

How could he ever have been so stupid? Angry tears spilled down his cheeks, though Ed stifled any accompanying noise, conscious as ever of his bedmate. All he'd done was hurt—well, everyone involved! Roy had been hurt when he left, and now Winry would be hurt when he did the same to her…for Edward could no longer deny that was what he must do. Sure, were it only himself to consider, he might have tried to live the lie a while longer. But Winry deserved nothing less than full commitment, and he couldn't give that to her.

* * *

The very next morning, Edward broke the news. As could be expected, Winry didn't take it well. There was a lot of yelling, and throwing things, and tears. Ed bore her pain and her anger, raising no hand against her onslaught. She had every right to react as she did, and he only stood there and apologized.

When the storm had passed and Winry packed his bag, a final act of companionship, there was a moment of doubt. But Edward stared into her eyes, bright blue and puffy, and for a split second he saw instead the dark gaze he was leaving to seek.

* * *

So with a last, awkward hug, he left.

_Dear fellow traveler_

_Under the moon_

_I think I'm growing weary and I'm hoping you'll come soon_

_And if I see you_

_In clean new clothes_

_I hope you hold the mirror up to show me what I chose_

* * *

It was dark in Central when Edward finally stepped off the train. In his haste, he'd not even bothered to call ahead, yet he wasn't worried; as a Colonel, Roy had been at the office almost constantly. As a General, Ed had no doubt the habit had only gotten worse.

The route to Headquarters was still engrained in his muscles (and his wires), and so Edward had arrived at the building without much thought and far more quickly than he'd anticipated. Only when the great stone structure came into view did he begin to feel nervous, sweat pricking his palms. What if, by some strange chance, Roy wasn't there? What if he denied Ed an audience? What it—oh, _what if_ he'd found someone else? After all, it had been years since Edward had last seen the man. It was all together too likely another lover had come into play…

The thought almost had Edward scurrying away with his tail between his legs. But he had nowhere to run to. He'd cast his lot all that time ago, and now he was taking his second chance. Ed at least had to see it through.

The guards on duty did not recognize him by sight, but when Edward mentioned his old title of Fullmetal Alchemist they jumped into action, escorting him up. Roy no longer occupied the same wing of the building as he had when Ed worked under him. Now, it seemed, with a higher post came a higher physical position. All the way up to the top floor they trekked, to the easternmost offices until the guards stopped him in front of a very familiar blonde.

"Captain Hawkeye," one guard stated, saluting as the woman before them looked up. Her emotionless gaze flitted over the soldiers, coming to rest on Edward. As recognition dawned on her, a smile broke out on her normally blank face.

"Edward! It's been so long!"

"Yes, it has," Ed agreed. Though Hawkeye's face was largely the same, he spotted a few new wrinkles—they came with the job-and she'd cut her hair short.

Mischief twinkled in her brown eyes. "I would love to chat, but I suppose you've come to see the General?"

Swallowing hard, Edward nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak.

Hawkeye grinned once more, standing up and dismissing the guards with a nod. "One second, Ed."

Taking a mere two steps out from behind her desk, the woman knocked rather commandingly on a massive oak door just beside them. From inside a voice questioned her, a voice that make Edward's heart skip a beat. "Yes?"

"General, you've a visitor."

A pause, and then, "At this hour?" Edward could hardly contain a laugh. It was rather late, after all. But no one had ever accused him of having good timing.

Rolling her eyes at Edward, Hawkeye persisted, "Trust me, you'll want to see him."

Another second of silence, and then the blessed response. "All right, then."

Edward felt a flutter in his chest as the Captain opened the door for him, gesturing inwards. Feet carrying him forward of their own accord, Ed stepped through the doorway and into the plush office. It seemed Roy really had done well for himself; his desk was opulent, his bookshelves stuffed full, his space illuminated by a gigantic window through which the full moon shone brightly. But none of that could compare to the man himself.

He'd not yet looked up from his work to greet his guest, but Edward could still see that time had taken its toll on the General as well. Lines converged on the corners of his eyes, and faint gray streaks of hair at taken root at his temples. But for all that, he was still breathtaking—literally. Ed let out at audible gasp, and only then did Roy look up.

His expression bounced quickly from disinterest to surprise to utmost warmth. The smile he gave Ed was more refreshing than the coldest glass of water. And the way he said his name, as though only a day had passed since their last meeting instead of several years. "Edward."

Roy said his name like he'd finally come home.

Tears of happiness, this time, prickled the corners of his eyes as Ed rushed forward. Roy barely had time to stand before Edward had launched himself over the desk—stupid thing, getting in the way—and into his arms. Their kiss was messy and both of them were laughing, or crying; who knew? But most of all it was wonderful.

When they finally broke apart, Roy held Ed close, glancing around at the mess he'd caused jumping the desk. "You always did know how to make an entrance, Edward."

Beaming back, Ed replied, "And you always liked it."

Roy sighed in contentment, resting his forehead against Edward's own. They stood eye to eye now, another thing that had changed in the past few years. Not that such a small thing could make any difference. "Welcome back, my love."

* * *

_Dear fellow traveler, underneath the moon_

_Dear fellow traveler, underneath the moon_

_Dear fellow traveler, underneath the moon_


End file.
